Don't you love it when your child does something right or well? It might be sitting still (and I mean completely still-not kicking their feet, not flailing their arms like tree limbs, not doing a silent dance), it might be following directions completely, it might be winning an award, or being kind to a friend.
Regardless of the situation, how you respond is very important. Do you say "Good Job" or do you say "Good Girl/Boy". Think for a moment about the differences of those two.......
Saying "Good Girl/Boy" carries a lot of silent weight for a child. It could send the message that they are only "good" when they have done something well. Failure or disobedience could lead to feelings of not being "good" enough or maybe even that the parent's love changes due to circumstances. Think about it......
Saying "Good Job" however, is completely different. It does not have the same emotional ties to a parent's affection or being "good" or "bad". It simply is a parent rewarding the child with affirmation that they have done something good!
Using only "good job" will most likely never lead your child to thinking that are a "bad girl/boy" since they didn't live up to the expectations. I say almost never.....our children have a way of punching our emotional buttons sometimes.
I have been enjoying all your posts! I have a sunshine award waiting for you at my blog!
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