This is JD and Ellouise H. This is a lovely and wonderful couple at our church. This couple is one of the many reasons that my life as a mom and wife are what they are today. Do you have a JD and Ellouise?
There are two parts to my Mommy Minute Monday-one about manners and kids and one about us girls.
1. What do your children call people who are not part of their generation? Do they call them by their first names or as Mr & Mrs....?
There is a certain amount of respect that has been lost since our grandparents were young. Yes, our grandparents.
I grew up calling other adults by their first names only and quite frankly saw absolutely nothing wrong with it and neither did my parents. If they were friends with my parents, they were my friends too-by association of course. People were introduced to me by their first names there was nothing wrong with that either.
Until I realized that there is something wrong with it.
Where is the respect that we should show those more "distinguished" than ourselves (notice how I craftily avoided the "O" word). What about our children learning their place and showing honor to those who have so much more life experience than they do. Should they speak to those more distinguished as buddies and pals? I think not.
So, here is what I have done. My children call people Mr & Mrs (Lastname). If I am introduced to someone by firstname and I would like to introduce my children to them as well, I politely ask them for their last name. Then I have my children say hello using their last name. There are exceptions to every rule or thought. My exceptions are for my best friends, my first cousins, my dear and special people that I am around all the time. Then, my children call them Mr or Mrs (firstname).
If we are at the store or out and about town we call those that we meet "Sir" and "Ma'am". Children catch onto this and use it very easily-even my almost two year old has caught on.
Teaching respect and honor is never a mistake. Never.
2. "Ellouise" has become a noun in our household. For the last seven years I have attended a bible study with her and some of the dearest girls that I know. Some have come, some have gone but Ellouise has welcomed and loved us all. Our Thursday night meetings allow us to get together, talk, mingle, share and receive biblical wisdom, and learn. Learn from someone more distinguished and knowledgeable than ourselves.
Find yourself an Ellouise. Find someone who can teach, train, lead, follow, share, grow, love, and pray for you and your family. Find someone who can give you biblical advice (not forsaking going straight to the bible for advice) and who will be honest and truthful with you. Invite your friends. Pick a book and bring dessert and fellowship. You might regain a little bit of sanity in the process.
A couple words from me to you...bless you if you made it this far!
I totally agree with not calling others by their first name. In Afrikaans (our first language) it is considered very rude to call someone more "distinguised" by their first name. We also either Mr or Mrs, or if it is a bit more informal we call people tannie and oom (afrikaans for aunt and uncle) I also make a huge point out of this and I truly go out of my way to try and impart this on M.
ReplyDeleteIn modern society, I have found that a remarkable number of people were raised to treat everyone casually and refer to them in the familiar (using first names). I had a manager once who required or name tags to read Mr. or Mrs., Ms. etc, followed by the last name. A customer told me he thought it was "pretentious" of us to have the honorific (Mr., Mrs., etc) on the name tag. He looked to be about 20 years my senior. It made me think that there are no hard fast rules in this. Now, when I meet new people, I find that I ask them how they like to be addressed. Here in the south a lot of women prefer to be addressed as Miss *first name*, like my neighbor, Miss June. It allows for the "respect" implied by the honorific to be there, wile inviting the other person into a more familiar circle than the standoffish one of a stranger to more of a casual acquaintance, but not yet close enough to be a friend or family member.
ReplyDelete